More rats abandon the sinking ship

Even The Sun has given up on Gordon Brown and his government...

"Scrappage" scheme to be extended

Lord Mandelson has announced that the "Cash for Bangers" scheme is to be extended.

Assuming some old bangers can be disposed of for a few quid?

PM denies any use of drugs

Peter Mandelson is apparently furious with the BBC and, in particular, Andrew Marr for asking Gordon Brown about his use of drugs.

Which Gordon has, of course, denied.

It would help to explain a lot, though, wouldn't it?

Saturday Night Television Scheduling Crisis

Panic at the BBC as Bruce Forsyth's wig announces that it is going to appear on "The X Factor", instead of on Brucie's head for "Strictly Come Dancing."

Why hasn't Gordon sacked Baroness Scotland?

There was a time (pre 1997) when Government Ministers who were caught with their mistresses / fingers in the till / toy boys / etc would resign when caught out.

Nu Labour re-wrote the rules. Most of their MPs came from non-job backgrounds, with the most "intellectual" being lecturers at former Technical Colleges (now Universities.)

They know that resignation would consign them back to the no-man's-land of employment they once occupied. Particularly once Labour are consigned to the political bin in 2010.

Until then, Gordon needs all the friends he can find. Particularly those who share his relaxed views on sexuality.

Revealed!

What Gordon and Peter were really discussing....

Mark Oaten publishes his autobiography

Even before it has been launched, Amazon are discounting this book by 41%!

The £1 bin beckons this side of Christmas. I can't help thinking that life's too short to spend it reading drivel like this, though it seems most MPs believe we do want to read all about their squalid little lives.

Therefore you should expect to see loads more political autobiographies being published before next May, though hopefully, none will turn your stomach quite as much as this one...

Would you buy a used car off this man?

Flavio Briatore shows off the new livery that Renault Formula 1 cars will be wearing for the remainder of the 2009 season.

Farewell Flavio...it's been a blast....

The other elephants in the room

After months of being in denial, Gordon Brown finally admitted yesterday that there would have to be cuts in public spending.

For so long, this has been the four-letter word that he had not dared to utter. The subject he would not be drawn on...."the elephant in the room" that everyone else knew was there.

So Gordon, what about all the other elephants in the room - when can we expect some comments on them?

They're not going to go away....

Compare and Contrast

It seems that President Obama isn't too happy with Gordon Brown about the release of Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi, the Lockerbie Bomber.

Is anyone happy with Gordon?

If rumours are to be believed, not even Gordon is happy with Gordon.

How to save the taxpayer £100,000

Well, it hasn't taken irritating mini man John Bercow long to pick up where his corrupt predecessor left off as Speaker of the House of Commons, has it?

According to The Daily Telegraph, Tim Hames, a former Times journalist, will be paid paid between £87,000 and £107,000 a year to work as the Speaker's "special adviser". Among his duties will be raising Mr Bercow's personal profile.

So let's get this straight....we're having to pay out in the region of a hundred grand a year for someone whose main function is to raise 5' 6" John Bercow's profile?

I would like to recommend a money-saving alternative....